Lettuce

There has been absolutely no buzz about this blog. Everywhere I turn, nobody is talking about it. It's been driving me crazy. For weeks leading up to this momentous occasion, all I've heard is nothing.....from everybody. It's been such a "non-item" that every major media network has failed to mention this blog at least once. Even at work people have been blabbing about 'this' and 'that', but no blog mentions. It's as if that is all people are thinking about.....something other than my blog.

So what compelled me to take on this arduous task of writing to the non-masses? It all transpired about a week or so ago.

Last Tuesday I found myself waiting to buy some Skittles at a delapidated, two-pump gas station around 1:30 AM. I was not alone however. There I stood behind an African-American man who had to be in his late 60's. Well-dressed, fedora, and a money clip that held more lottery tickets than cash. It was however, the words out of this man's mouth that would catipulte me to amateur blogger. "Excuse me sir, do you happen to have a head of lettuce for sale?"

Nothing stimulates questions faster than a dumb one. My first shock was the realization that I stopped at a gas station willingly to purchase Skittles at 1:30 in the morning. My shock then quickly turned to panic when I heard this senior citizen questioning the attendant on his produce inventory. Outside in a flashy silver Cadillac was a woman smoking a 4-inch cigarette awaiting patiently for the "Lettuce Man" to return.

What happened next is still keeping me up to this hour.

As I peered in at the station attendant, I could somewhat make out his nameplate. Leon. Only I was absolutely certain that the likelihood of this middle-eastern man's name being Leon was as likely as him producing a head of lettuce from behind the counter. It was at that point he reached under his lottery machine and produced what appeared to be a fresh head of iceberg lettuce. I began to perspire heavily. I no longer wanted my Skittles. I kindly dropped the candy, walked to my car and quietly had one of what would become a series of anxiety attacks.

I've had my share of Life Lessons, but this was the crowning jewel. After leaving that filthy gas station, I knew that my life was going to change. It was time to take some risks and it doesn't matter how dumb I look doing it! I soon knew that anything was possible. And if a senior citizen in a suit can roll into a gas station after midnight to buy a head of lettuce at a gas station, I guess it's possible somebody just may read this blog.